Embracing Resistance in Advocacy

Kar Man Au remarks, "There is always resistance at the beginning." And this resistance can emerge from multiple facets. Initially, the challenge was in building trust with the social workers to receive more referrals. However, as the project evolved, the resistance shifted towards the parents.

Kar Man explains, "Parents often misconstrued our role, thinking Parent Advocates (PA) work strictly for the social workers, which leads to hesitancy in accepting our help." The challenge lies in initiating that first conversation. "Being transparent about my background, my purpose, and my boundaries has been crucial. Parents often feel vulnerable, but when I share a bit of my own journey, it diminishes their feeling of vulnerability and lays the foundation for building trust."

And while the actual words exchanged matter, Kar Man emphasises the importance of the emotional underpinning: "People remember how you make them feel. It's not about just saying the right things, but about demonstrating genuine care."

Features of the Relationship between Advocate and Parent

"Although my title is Parent Advocate, I'd rather empower parents to be their own advocates," Kar Man reveals. Instead of being a perpetual shield, Kar Man aspires to make parents confident, self-reliant, and able to navigate their challenges. "This doesn't mean I won't step in when necessary, but my ultimate goal is to see parents grow and heal."

Despite this close emotional connection, Kar Man emphasises the significance of boundaries. This mutual respect creates a safe space for both the advocate and the parent. "Transactional work is never my goal with the advocacy work," she adds.

One of Kar Man's unique perspectives that she's keen to highlight is the power of love and the capacity to be alone, inspired by the words of Osho. She believes that understanding these concepts can be transformative, especially for parents embroiled in complex situations like domestic violence.

Relationship Between Advocate and Professionals: A Partnership

Kar Man's relationship with other professionals is grounded in professionalism, mutual respect, and collaboration. Having built strong relationships within the council and continuously promoting their work, she believes that a collective approach is the key. "Camden, being forward-thinking, has helped in nurturing these positive collaborations," she mentions.

Sharing a story of collaboration with a social worker, Kar Man recounts, "There was a case where it seemed imminent that a child would be removed. Yet, by working together, listening to each other's views, and focusing on the best interests of the child, we've managed to keep exploring options."

Insights into Child Protection Conferences

Post-pandemic, most Child Protection (CP) conferences have adopted a hybrid model. While Kar Man prefers in-person meetings, she adapts to the needs of the parents she's supporting. "Being physically present gives parents a sense of reassurance. Prepping them beforehand and encouraging them to voice their concerns has often meant I don't need to intervene. However, I remain vigilant, ensuring that the professionals maintain empathy and respect throughout."

On "Case Closure" and Signs of Movement

Reflecting on the closure of her first case, Kar Man reminisces about a parent who transitioned from Child Protection (CP) to Child In Need (CIN) status and ultimately had their case closed. This journey from distrust to triumph remains one of Kar Man's cherished memories.

Regarding the broader impact of advocacy on Child Protection in Camden, she concludes, "With increasing referrals and positive feedback, it's evident that our advocacy is bringing about change. Our new group of trained parent advocates is a testament to our progress."

Kar Man Au's journey through the complexities of advocacy provides invaluable insights. As Camden navigates these challenges, her role in pioneering and promoting change remains a beacon of hope and transformation for many parents.